It's been awhile! This is where I give an excuse but I'll refrain, I got busy and didn't make the time. I would just say I didn't have time but we know that's not the truth - between school, work, study groups, events, church and more church, there wasn't much writing time -- oh, how I've missed thee! On to the good stuff now that I've gotten that out of the way.
A year ago on October 24th, I decided to get baptized at One Church International. All I knew about baptisms at that point was that I was baptized as a baby. A well known Catholic tradition. I didn't know why I was doing it nor what it meant.
It took me a year from the time of my salvation (that defining moment in Dec of 2012) to get baptized. I do realize that I've done things at my own pace because I want to fully understand what I'm doing and the why of it all. Perhaps I was ready sooner but I made sure I felt ready. Sounds silly I know, especially when walking with God because I've since learned to stop asking why or trying to understand His ways. The bible clearly says "His ways are not our ways." (Isaiah 55:8) He and I are still working on that. They say delayed obedience is disobedience. Ouch, moving forward.
I felt a prompting that it was my time to get baptized. I didn't even think to fast in preparation for it but what I did do was pray about what that experience would be like and just prayed for myself. I wanted it to be a divine experience! Looking back, I didn't fully understand the symbolism that a water baptism represented. Submerged into the water - burial with the Lord. Raised out of the water - resurrected with our Lord, a new life in Christ. Hence the term born again, it truly is a rebirth.
On that day, there were 60 of us ready to publicly declare that we were committed to walking this thing out with the Lord on our side. There were church members lined up beside us praying for each and every one of us as we made our way to the pool of water and I still remember those powerful prayers.
It was my turn and my heart was racing! You'd think I was about to go skydiving or something similar. (Which I have done by the way -- bragging rights.) I was guided into the water which was cold might I add. I might've let out a little scream, can't remember and then I sat upright in the pool as I waited on the man of God to give me instructions. Hey, this was all new to me. Am I holding my nose or are you doing that for me, what is the deal? Am I holding my breath? I'm not a swimmer as this clearly shows. Valid questions, right? I crossed my hands on my chest (such a position of surrender especially when you're about to go under water) and he placed his hands over my nose and led me under the water. My body resisted and wanted to come up immediately but it wasn't time and then a second or two later, he brought me back into my sitting position. I thought, well that was easy! Then it hit me. Hard. As I sat there, there was a release of emotions that overtook me. I started bawling. Then I was hyperventilating, that's how much crying I was doing. I'm usually a crybaby but this was beyond me. This was God. This was rebirth. This was letting go of all past hurts, all of the pain I was carrying, all of the shame, the bitterness, the identity issues. I was letting go of the old Jen. I left it all there in that pool of water. I cried, they prayed and I cried some more. I felt like the heavens opened up for me and I was being elevated and taken higher -- such a divine experience. I finally got up from the water and made my way to a woman who was holding the towels. She gave me a towel and she prophesied, "The Lord is going to take you down a different path. Don't be afraid." I nodded. I felt so loved and overwhelmed and I simply kept walking to the changing room. I could've skipped there for all I know, that's how much of a euphoric state I was in. Some of my friends were there sharing that moment with me, it was great!
What I want to talk about is that word the woman shared with me. I didn't doubt if it was for me, I felt it as she shared it. When you know, you know. Thank you Lord for discernment! However, I didn't fully know how that would pan out. Change is coming, well sure. He is taking me down a different, well of course. I am a new creation, old things have passed away, I went from going to church to be inspired to going to church, three times a week. I'm definitely a changed woman. I can embrace this change God is bringing me to. That was my thought process, boy was I wrong.
When the Lord talks about change, can I tell you He means change. Transformation. A Damascus experience. A transfiguration moment.
This is where I am now, a year later after that was spoken over me and I am sure I have not seen the fullness of it. Some people don't like the prophetic or think it's over done and it can be but that word was right on time and so God. I'm no longer acting -- that's a HUGE change! Acting is why I moved to the city of angels, in pursuit of that dream, it would be silly to not continue down the path that led me here, right? Well that's how the world sees it. It's been quite a ride, letting go of my dream and taking on His dream and I have my days when I just want to grace the stage and do what I do but I have to remember that I put that Jen to bed and that I arose a new creation. What once was is no more and so I must learn to walk again, to trust again, to dream again, to LIVE again. (Galatians 2:20)
What kind of God would make you lay down your dreams, you ask? A God who created me in His image. A God who knew me before me I was born. A good God who created the universe and looks after the lilies of the field and so He also looks after me. A God who wants MORE for me not a life of mediocrity. A God who knows who I am when I am in the flesh and wants to save me from myself. A God who wants to heal and save the world from death and uses people to carry out His plan. A God who chose me when I was the least of the least. A God who restored me to original intentions. A God who loved me out of my mess - promiscuity, alcohol, anger, insecurities etc. His qualities go on forever. I'll still be in the entertainment industry but it'll be from a different angle. Don't believe me, just watch...Him.
Glory to God.
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