I Care

I care, I really do. About what, you ask? About everything. At least that's how I feel at times. I was once in tears because I didn't understand why I cared SO much when people around me seemed to just shrug things off. I didn't want to care anymore, you do tend to live a easier life when you're care free. Through prayer, reflecting and speaking with leaders in the church I realized this was a gift, the gift of compassion. I couldn't help but care when I watched the news and saw a young girl missing as they showed the mother in tears. I couldn't help but care when someone was injured, it's almost as if I felt their pain. I couldn't help but care about my friend and their break up and the list goes on. Now that has reached another level as I see others how God sees them, His masterpiece.

I remember people telling me that I cared too much and I actually believed them. If I asked a question they'd reply with, "What do you care, Jen?" Perhaps they thought I was making small talk when in fact I was genuinely concerned about their well being. Sometimes I expected others to care as much as I did or care for me as much as I cared for them. You can assume that didn't always happen. I didn't care about them or for them because I wanted something in return, I cared because that was my love language. I didn't know how not to care. I cared because that was the heart that was given to me. It's actually the heart we've all been given, a pure heart. Life happens and some harden their hearts, some fear loving and caring for others again, some have lost hope. I was there too and God showed me how to let go, how to surrender, He healed my wounds and He has shown me how to truly care and love my neighbor. It's not always easy but that's what His grace is for. These are things that you may think can take place without God and yes they may but they won't last because as humans we're weak and we can't do to our soul and spirit what the One who created us can do, it's a supernatural thing. It's a God thing, it's a 'Let him take care of it' thing. It's a faith thing. 

I know now who I am and I don't apologize for caring. That would be silly, right? I know that people who care "too much" need to guard themselves as well because there are people who will take advantage of your pure intentions but I don't concern myself with those things. I give it to God although I am careful. I am not going to apologize for being me. I care about the things that concern my neighbor. I care about those things on God's heart. I am going to be me, JFER. I care, I really do. 

I care about you. I care about my brothers and sisters. I care about this fallen world. I care immensely about my family and friends. I care about our education system. I care about our justice system. I care about the system. I care, I really do. I care about children whose innocence is taken away. I care about addiction. I care about divorce. I care about Hollywood. I care about my peeps in the Bronx. I care about purity. I care, I really do but it doesn't stop there. I care enough to do something about it. I care enough to say something. I care enough to be proactive in changing and building the new. I care enough to tell you. I care because it's who I am. 

Perhaps there is something about you that you don't seem to understand but I want to tell you that God created you that way so just be you. Own it and walk in it. Don't let others think or tell you you're weird because you have "too much" of one trait or characteristic. 

Be you, unapologetically.