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The Ease of Grace

Just do it.  Do it afraid.  Take courage, my heart. Be courageous.  God did not give you a spirit of fear... Doesn't all of that sound great, in theory? Can one of you tell me how to apply that? Does this mean, I talk myself out of it? Does this mean, I repeat it and therefore I am IT. What does this mean exactly? The truth is, I say these very things to myself and others, if I'm honest. I'm all for TRUTH and these statements are true but when your heart hasn't caught up to what your mind already knows, what do you do? I'm at a loss for words which is ironic because this blog needs to be written. I am working through these emotions as I write. Tomorrow I have a boxing class and will release any tension I might have all the more while there but right now, I just want to put my thoughts here - for you to see, for me to acknowledge.  I consider myself a vocal person, however I wasn't always like that. That took lots of work (layers of healing & f...
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The Nudge

Moment of transparency... I mean, I've written poems as a kid. I can put together a few rhymes. (I like it when it rhymes.) That then led to writing my testimony in a spoken word piece titled, Free . Which then led to me reciting it in Bangkok, in the middle of the red light district. That then led to a friend asking me to do a spoken word piece for her women's conference and that one was titled Shift . That then led to others asking me to do more spoken word, even in my seminary class, and more opportunities came along. All the while, I'm talking with God and saying, this was not part of the plan. You all know what I'm talking about right? He unfolds it one step at a time because the truth is we can't handle his Ephesians 3:20 promise of doing "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think." I was okay with taking that first step but the next step -- hol'up.  You know that feeling when someone asks the question, "Who wants to go fi...

In Oceans Deep

"And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep My faith will stand" Drowning. Submerged. Succumbed. Suffocating. In oceans deep.  That's where I was. That's where you were. I often wondered how did I get here? I was searching. I was seeking. I was longing to have what only you could offer me but no one really told me that and to take the responsibility off of others, I hadn't discovered you. I didn't know and maybe I wasn't really listening at times but mostly, it was ignorance.  I had fallen prey to that which I thought I was stronger than. It was cyclical and I wish I could say I saw it as it was happening. I wish I could say I saw all of the red flags but ignored them. I wish I could say I knew better but really, I didn't. There is something about being so deep, in an ocean so vast, that you lose a part of yourself, your identity, your soul.  It didn't happen all at once, as I continued to walk, my footing was losing grou...

You Call Me Out

"You call me out upon the waters" The waters. Sometimes still. Sometimes raging. Sometimes gushing at you. Sometimes taking you under. Sometimes refreshing. Other times, offering warmth. Sometimes menacing. Other times, meek. Rivers. Oceans. Lakes and puddles. Showers. Downpours. A sprinkle. A drizzle. A splash. A glass. Ah, the waters. At the beginning of the year, I, along with a few hundred other people, sang Hillsong's famous Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) while we all rang in the new year with our church, Faithful Central Bible Church . For the next 31 days, I want to remind myself of what I sang and declared on Jan 1, 2015, verse by verse. As I reflect, God will encourage me, challenge me into new things, push me forward and remind me of His faithfulness because whether we see it or not, many of us have LAUNCHED and what we sang at the top of the year has come to pass. As we move into another calendar year and continue on this journey, we'll find that God ...

Journey To Thailand

It's been a minute, ya'll! (The New Yorker comes out, always.) I've read so many blog entries where the blogger mentions their disappearance and explains what happened or simply chalks it up to "LIFE".  I believe it's important to retreat, to discover yourself all over again, to have that alone time with God and not have to share it with others, to live without having to document it. That reminds me, I need to step my social media game up. All I ever want to post are inspirational messages because who wants to know that I'm having a delicious treat by way of the samples at Costco? I'm working on just posting away and being free, all the while remembering - random, not ratchet. Haha In any case, there was so much that has happened since my last post - whoa! I'll put that in a book but for now, the topic at hand - my journey to Thailand.  Thanks to the support of my family and friends (special shout out to Pastor Toure Roberts for his genero...

And they lived happily ever after...

*Wiping my tears* Something about "and they lived happily ever after" is oh so sweet, like music to my ears. Something about that storybook ending just opens up the floodgates of tears. (Hey, that rhymed, I'll go with it.) Something about that ending foretells of blissful years. Something about that ending...just isn't the truth and I know that's not what we want to hear. (Poem complete.)  I love me some fairy tale endings and I know I'm not alone. I remember watching "500 Days of Summer" and feeling some kind of way that he didn't end up with Summer but after giving it some thought and seeing his new love interest, I guess I made peace with it. Did I make peace with it because someone else came along (Autumn) or simply because I realized that sometimes things are just not meant to be and that's okay.  In honor of Valentine's Day, for those who buy into it and I do mean BUY, I wanted to share some thoughts on the fairy ...

Don't Tell Me What To Do

A dear friend of mine asked me to write on the topic of obedience and I obeyed. I am such a willing servant, aren't I? I'm being sarcastic but I do enjoy writing about my walk with God and my experiences -- so here we are. I remember thinking that I couldn't articulate obedience because it couldn't be taught, I see it as more of a heart posture but then I was reminded that I am not the teacher. Thank God for the Holy Spirit, our helper. Ultimately, it is God who works in us and wills us to do His will and follow His lead.  Philippians 2:13 As listed in Strong's Greek Concordance, the Greek word for obey is hypakouo: acting under the authority of the one speaking, i.e. really listening to the one giving the charge (order). I wanted to define it to get a better feel of what it meant in those times and how it was defined in one of the original languages of the Bible so that nothing is lost in translation.  The word reminds me of children being told to ...