Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la ... ya'll can finish it, and so the Christmas carol goes. I know several people who aren't a fan of the holidays, these in particular and their reasons vary. It's like the person who says, "Valentine's Day is every day" or "Giving thanks is an every day thing", we've all heard this before, or know these people or perhaps you've said or thought this yourself. I didn't really understand how someone could not have a jolly holiday spirit. Bah humbug, much? I kid.
I do remember taking it for granted as a child and dreading going over to a family members house and hearing the debates over whose house they were going to celebrate next year -- I didn't care, I just wanted my presents! Some of my uncles weren't keen on Christmas shopping so my sister and I always knew we'd get cash. (I wonder if I went shopping for clothes with that money...I'll have to ask my mom. Maybe she pocketed the money, but I digress.) As you get older, you start seeing and recognizing the importance of family gatherings, of unity, of birthday celebrations etc. and somewhere along the way, I now had this jolly Christmas spirit every time this seasons came around. Fast forward to when I moved to Los Angeles, every year I'd make sure I was home in New York for the holidays, with my family, with my people, in my city -- it was truly a winter wonderland in my eyes. Life seemed complete when I was around my family and we re-lived childhood moments and danced the night away. We're Dominican -- bachata, merengue and perico ripiao was always playing in the background while we sipped Corona's, Mamajuana, Coquito and any other kind of rum you can think of. We, Dominicans, like rum. This was back when I was still drinking, I don't anymore but that's a blog post in and of itself.
It really is a beautiful season and I do know that for some people Christmas brings up memories of loved ones who have gone on. I do know some are grieving during this season. I do know some are angry, bitter, lonely or sad because they don't have a family to share this season with or feel abandoned even. I know this isn't a jolly time for everyone or it may feel like it's the complete opposite but to that person I say, you are not alone and if you look around there is someone willing to share their joy with you and open their home to you in this season. Let me suggest that being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely, the latter being a feeling. It might be a good time to reflect, to be by yourself and disconnect from all the distractions this world gives you. If this helps any, I will be alone during this holiday season. Yes, I have friends who have become family in this city and I will probably head over to one of their houses but for the most part I know I am not with my immediate family and that can bring a sense of loneliness with it. However, I will not let that debilitate me because these days, my jolly Christmas spirit comes from knowing my Lord and Savior, Jesus. You know, the guy whose birthday everyone says they're celebrating? Yea, Him.
Two years ago, in the month of December, I walked up (maybe I ran because this was the second prompting of the Holy Spirit and I didn't listen the first time) to the altar to receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I didn't know what that meant really but what I felt in my spirit and the unction I got was undeniable. I couldn't stay in my seat and feel what I was feeling in my heart. It was so real, it was shaking me to my bones, it was the love of the Father, it was God pursuing His daughter, it was Him asking me if I would let Him into my heart. Here I am crying as I write this because some people know the feeling I am describing, words don't do it justice, but others will never know what it's like to have a relationship with Jesus. I pray that isn't you.
Once you experience God (who is a triune God - The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit) on a whole new level and you learn to communicate with Him, you can't help but want more. So when people say, "Jen has become a Jesus freak", this is why. It's like being in a honeymoon phase -- you want more kisses, more cuddles, more of their time, more of their warmth, more comfort, more 7 hour long conversations, more LOVE. I know you'd agree with me in saying that the world is missing a whole lot of that right now but that's exactly what God is offering and desiring to give to us -- love. Never mind the hypocritical Christians, never mind the hell and condemnation Christians, never mind the Christians who hurt you in the past or the ones who will hurt you in the future, never mind all of that because this isn't about having faith in people (we are all broken) this is about having faith in God. It's a one on one relationship and He has given me so much joy!
You ask, how? If I were to tell you how you probably wouldn't understand it not because of anything personal but because of who He is. How do you describe the sovereignty of one who is in heaven but came down to earth and became flesh to rescue the world by dying and then resurrecting in power? Not only is that some real OG stuff but that's not something everyone can wrap their mind around but He can show you how. My words mean nothing when it comes to the love he has shown me just in mere conversation with Him. Yes, you can talk to God. Aren't there people who talk to the universe? Aren't there people who believe in The Secret? Again, you can talk with and to God and you can invite him into your life and he will meet you where you are. He will love you not condemn you, believe that! This is not to say that all suffering and hurt in your life is gone once you know Jesus, that's a fairytale. To quote Lauryn Hill, "See, fantasy is what people want but reality is what they need." Things change when those difficult moments come because He strengthens you and comforts you like a Father would.
*Singing* "And this Christmas, will be, a very special Christmas, for me. Shake a hand, shake a hand" --- that part always makes me laugh, is he telling us what to do now?
Yes, indeed it will be a special Christmas because I know I am not alone. I know He loves me. I know this is what He planned for me, I know it will bring me closer to Him. I know He is my source, my all in all, I have no worries and I know He is at work in me because me being without my family is a BIG deal and the fact that I am saying, "it's all good" means I have been transformed and strengthened by the almighty God. It's also special because the sensationalized Christmas is not what I'll be celebrating, I'll be celebrating the gift of salvation that came through Jesus, The Christ. I am humbled to know the man, the king, the deity that everyone is celebrating this season -- Jesus, here's to you.
Glory to God.
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